This morning at work Alex, my boss, came up me and asked me to take some photos at a press conference he was doing. I didn’t ask any more details cause Alex is always doing these sorts of things and he looked in a hurry. Alex is now the most famous person I know. (And I do know our Federal Treasurer, Wayne Swan, but that was a while ago and he might have forgotten me.) He is always on the news and getting important phone calls and hob-nobbing with Clive et al.
So I grabbed the camera and then in the foyer there was this bloke in a suit who, it became apparent, was coming with us. He gave me a warm hello and introduced himself as “Adam” and we shook hands. But I still had no idea who exactly he was and what exactly we were all doing.
And soon from the conversation he was having with Alex it was apparent Adam was from the Greens. We all jumped in the car and there was talk about Canberra and so I figured he worked there and so at a break in the conversation I said, “So Adam, are you based in Canberra?” And he said, no, but it’s just a quick flight home to Melbourne on a Thursday evening after Parliament.
“Oh,” I thought. “He’s probably a political staffer for a Greens senator”.
But then as we approached the reporters gathered in Bowen Park to meet us he was getting more attention than Alex and it dawned on me he was maybe not a staffer for a senator, but possibly an actual Senator.
“Right,” I thought, entirely pleased I had figured this out all on my own.
Soon another dignitary arrived — Larissa Waters, Queensland Greens Senator. And I knew exactly who she was having met her before and getting a bit weak at the knees in her presence. After saying hello to everyone else and giving them a “kiss-hello” she turned to me and I instantly thought, “Oh Christ if you give me a kiss-hello I will die.” Luckily she just shook my hand and I mumbled how I had met her a few years ago when I filmed a video of her for the Your Rights at Work campaign. And she was like, “Oh yeah — in that tiny room”. And I made a fumbling attempt at humour by saying, “Yeah I get that comment quite a lot every time I shoot a video of someone.” — which isn’t even a joke and is really creepy and stupid. Jesus Davey — get it together!
Luckily she didn’t hear it properly — or pretended not to — and I got stuck-into my task of taking photos.
But then I got in more trouble as I rustled around at the back of the pack taking shots. The TV camera people kept shooting ugly looks at me everytime I made a noise in the dry, crunchy grass. Ugh.
At this point, quite bizarrely, this stench of cannabis smoke drifted over us — which I swear wasn’t my fault. It seemed to be coming from some dodgy-looking people on a park bench behind.
But then in my head I started to think about Adam. And then BANG — his actual identity flew into my brain. He was Adam Bandt, the Member for Melbourne, and one of teh cross-benchers who had joined with the ALP to form our current government. The FIRST Greens member of the Lower House and yes, quite a big deal.
And then I remembered how I had just asked him if he was “based in Canberra”. What a deadshit I am.
Anyway, of course after the press conference was over I almost got myself into more trouble.
We were driving back to the office and the topic of the bushfires in the distance came up and Adam said something to the effect of, “Oh yeah, I thought I could smell some burnt particles in the air today.” So I said, “Actually, that would have been whoever was smoking a joint in the park.”
Luckily he laughed.
Later I got to apologise for my stupidity. Again, sorry Adam. I thought he was a really nice guy btw.
And here is more info about what was announced today.