A review of “ROGUE ONE”

Screen Shot 2016-12-21 at 2.36.29 pm.pngAnother scene that #Didn’t happen


I didn’t expect to watch another 12:05 viewing of a movie — and not by myself — something I would have found so utterly pathetic when I was a 12 year old. Which is perhaps the average age of the initial target audience of this movie. (I realise the studio is also expecting a lot of coin from people like me).

But the excitement just overwhelmed me. It was a Wednesday night and I had nothing better to do, and I had arranged that Thursday off on the ‘morrow so I could watch it at a more respectable hour. (It turned out I had to go to work — but that is another story.)

So it was fun and exciting to get to have a nap at 8pm, then snap up an hour later in a daze and stumble for an hour over to Southbank and mix it up with my fellow nerds. They were an eclectic bunch — in nerd terms. There were coolsies that wouldn’t look out of place at a Laneway Fest. And then there were the gender-ambiguous overweight people in big black tent-like clothing — channeling the Comic-book-guy from the Simpsons.

It was mostly dudes.

Everyone was well behaved. Although a group of lads kept grappling randoms and saying, “Did you know Darth Vader is Luke’s father?” Like it was the funniest joke ever. Douchecanoes.


a) A review
a.1) A note on “Mendo”
b) The Elephant
c) FAN-SERVICE — What I cringed about
d) FAN-SERVICE — What I thought worked
e) Why the TRAILERS are so different (or “What I thought the movie might have been )



First of all I want to say I enjoyed it. As a major Star Wars fan it is certainly entertaining — but it’s not as good as episodes 4, 5 (my fave), 6 or 7. (I don’t acknowledge the prequels.)

Secondly, it had a major feature which I found quite distracting — and something I thought was a dangerous precedent in film-making. (I’ll cover that later).

It’s a lush movie. Visually very diverse and all the settings are amazing. I recognised Iceland immediately. A cheap setting for an alien world without any set-dressing or CGI.

The characters don’t get developed much. I think Jyn was a little hard to truly care about. I found the droid K2-SO’s tragic end far more emotional. (He was obviously inspired by the robot in Miyazaki’s Castle in the Sky.) Long arms and tiny head. Always looking downtrodden. Plus maybe the Paranoid Android in the Hitchhiker’s Guide.



And the Baize and Chirru bromance was much more thematic. Cassian was almost interesting, but again a little unappealing.

Well before the movie came out, the nerds had guessed that the perfect-defect in the Death Star was purposely designed. And the trailers pretty much gave that plot point away with Galen Erso telling a baby Jyn that everything he did, he did to protect her. So that revelation was put down pretty early. There was no way the script writers could have avoided this obvious plot-gift. Someone on the inside was a Rebel at heart and had made this hideous planet-destroying-machine hopelessly weak.

Moving on.


Screen Shot 2016-12-21 at 2.28.19 pm.png

Ben Mendohlson. What a bloody legend. Deadset legend.

He’s like the David Boon of acting. Boony being the very first deadset legend.

He’s like an enigma, wrapped up in a dirty, dweeby, wrinkly paper bag.

He’s like an older brother, or a shitty cousin that is sometimes your bestie, but is so mercurial he becomes a crazy psycho with no warning.

Whenever me and Dee see Mendo in super-acting-genius — we call it “Classic Mendo”. Others have different terms. Tony Martin calls it, “How Mendo is that?”. And seeing Mendo in Bloodlines was incredibly sublime. He was so, so, so good in that series.

And when he was cast in Rogue One I instantly thought, “Wow! Mendo is going to rip shit up as a Star Wars villain.” Holy shit! I was so excited.

But although there was a bit of “Classic Mendo”, sadly I think he was always a bit comprimised. Apart from the beginning, he never really got to rise in darkness. He had his lisp thing — “Classic Mendo”. He had at least two moments when he got to say something so evil and maniacal. “Classic”. He gets a cool cape. (Though Dee thought it looked plasticy). And he gets to be annoyed most of the time — but I don’t think he ever got to be truly scary or about to snap and lose it.

I guess any character that gets force-choked by Vader can never be treated seriously as a villain. If Vader cuts off your airway it means, “you’re a dickhead. And you’re expendable — to the plot.”

And Mendo’s doom is ultimately kinda pathetic. When he says, “Who are you?” it’s not what a true villain would care about when they were pointing a gun at their defeated (and seemingly doomed) pugnator. It’s like a confession that he was always out-played. I suspect Mendo had a far sinister role in the original movie (before the reshoots). But more on that later.


Apparently they announced over a year ago but I missed that memo. So they made a CGI version of Peter Cushing (who died over 20 years ago) rather than employ a real actor to play the role of Grand Moff Tarkin. Admittedly it was convincing so far as CGI goes. While watching I thought it might even fool someone who hadn’t seen Star Wars or hadn’t realised Cushing was long dead. It was definitely a grand achievement in the technology. Cool even.

But is it ethical?

How does a dead person get to control the appropriation of their likeness? (I know the character’s intellectual property belongs to someone else — and you can’t own your own image, be it a picture or a painting or a film of yourself.) [Although I think France has different laws about that.]

But what about the way you played that character? What about your voice or mannerisms — what you can uniquely bring to your performance? Isn’t that going to be forever connected with the original actor?

Another quite bizarre outcome is that “Rogue One” is now one of Peter Cushing’s films on his wikipedia page. Am I the only one who thinks this is weird? I haven’t dared to check IMDB. I don’t care if he was a big fan of the franchise. (Apparently he was). I don’t care that his family approved. (Apparently they gave it their blessing). I just wonder. I just wonder for the future.

And I am very, very nervous that they will do the same treatment to Sir Alec Guinness. I impurity certain he would turn in his grave if his likeness is used next. (Admittedly his voice is appropriated in The Force Awakens and I did not get up on my high-horse about that. I feel a bit conflicted about that.)



I can just imagine in the next decade some douche will release a film with a recreation of James Dean or Marilyn Monroe or Elvis. If there’s money to be made — what’s stopping them?

They’ve done it to Audrey Hepburn. And in the 90s they did it Humphrey Bogart, Louis Armstrong and James Cagney for a fucking Coke commercial for fuck’s sake. Ugh. [Note: these were not CGI but real footage mixed into new scenes – but essentially their image in a very new context].

So I will say to the actors of today — make a stand if this means something to you. Can you let this precedent continue? My nephews saw that film and had no idea that was a CGI Princess Leia or Moff Tarkin. What happens to your likeness when you are long dead? What happens to your legacy if you get shoved into an absolute dud of a film and your character gets blamed? Actors — how do you feel as artists — how do you feel about people making money out of your likeness? What’s stopping the studios making new Indiana Jones movies with a fake “Harrison Ford” forever and ever?


All the scenes, out-takes or actual footage from A NEW HOPE that they re-purposed for this film in the final space-battle. Is that ethical? Should we care cause I for one found it so fucking obvious and gratuitous.

For details see below.


1) adding C3P0 and R2D2 — for months I vowed to throw something if they were included. But thankfully my civility prevailed. Instead I just cringed and shook my head. Don’t these people making these films have any shame? It’s literally getting to the point where anyone making a Star Wars movie just can’t help but chuck in these two “classic droids” like it was the Force controlling them. But it is just so redundant. So unnecessary. Except if you’re Anthony Daniels and you get a truckload of money each and every time.

2) The old footage of fighter pilots from A NEW HOPE (ANH) getting regurgitated. There were at least three pilots who got re-hashed and one had their sentence “I am starting my attack run on the…” re-purposed to say “shield gate” at the end while the vision tracked to that big shield gate thing.

3) The recreation of that exact scene from ANH with that cranky fuckwit with the deformed face (and his mate). Rehashing the exact dialogue from the cantina scene just before he gets his arm cut off. Embarrassing.

4) All the extra references to “Hope”. One is enough.

5) CGI Leia. We got it from the costume. There was no need to go further. And it was almost like a big, “Look at how impressive our CGI is” rather than a true addition to the film.

6) It’s a diverse cast — if you’ve got balls and a dick. Just cause you have a female lead doesn’t mean you are excused to make every other role — including robots — a male. I doubt it passed the Bechdel Test.


1) I think I spotted a Wilhelm Scream from the first stormtrooper that gets nailed in the Jeddah battle.

2) Donk droid. And maybe a couple of other droids from ANH

3) Referencing “A New Hope” was ok. (But see above)

4) Bail Organa (Jimmy Smits) were inoffensive and kinda drove the plot. Although of course it was a bit excessive.

5) Mon Mothma was excellent — and she a great fit for that role.


Screen Shot 2016-12-21 at 2.27.09 pm.pngTie-Fighter confronting Jyn at the top of the communications mast #Didn’t happen

About 8 months ago the studio announced it was doing a big bunch of re-shoots. I took this to mean they were finessing the film. Getting it even more perfect. Taking pride in the job. Realising they didn’t need to rush things. I saw many fans appreciating the “quality over quantity” vibe. They were not disappointed.

But it seems the film was rather drastically changed if you go by the trailers. There’s the  redundant footage which is not a hanging offence. But then there’s the just plain wrong scenes. Scenes that don’t happen. Scenes where characters interact which makes no sense. And it wasn’t just the footage — the dialogue was also stupidly weird at times and inconsistent with what the finished film delivered. It was grossly unsettling.

I suspect the nerds would have already taken this to pieces. OK a quick google revealed this. It’s embarrassing really. (Another precedent this movie has delivered: How can we trust any trailers now?)

Screen Shot 2016-12-21 at 2.34.48 pm.pngSaw Gererra without hair lecturing Jyn about joining the fight #Didn’t happen

Screen Shot 2016-12-21 at 2.35.15 pm.pngCrennik getting his tails wet on the Skarriff beach #Didn’t happen

Screen Shot 2016-12-21 at 2.30.37 pm.pngIn the trailers they imply Vader is confronting Galen Erso in this scene

Screen Shot 2016-12-21 at 2.33.08 pm.pngJyn in shackles at the Rebel base #Didn’t happen

Screen Shot 2016-12-21 at 2.13.04 pm.pngRebel pilots in shackles, led by Stormtroopers, (presumably on Jedda) #Didn’t happen

So here is my stupid idea about why they changed the film — apart from the fact I suspect the director was a bit of a dud and the movie he delivered was shithouse.

It seemed the end of the movie was going to be a bit too much like Return of the Jedi (RTOJ). The final act in RTOJ has the rebels on Endor trying to get the shield generator while those up in space are waiting for that to happen so they can launch an attack. But the Emperor has set a trap. “It’s a trap!” Admiral Ackbar famously (or memes-worthy) says.

It already is very much like ROTJ in those last scenes, but from the trailers you get the impression that Krennic had set a trap just like the Emperor had done in ROTJ. Krennic is seen gracefully walking over the shallow water on Scarriff with his cape getting a tad damp. You see a tie-fighter jump up and confront Jyn when she’s up on the mast just below the satellite dish. And from the whispers in the spoiler’s community, there definitely was a scene shot and CGI’d where a group of AT-ATs emerge from under the ocean to gradually rise up and make the rebel troops shit their collective pants. (Which would have been so, so cool!)

Screen Shot 2016-12-21 at 2.36.00 pm.pngAnd Cassian and Jyn are in the above scene. #Didn’t happen #wtf?

Anyway. I think that movie might have featured a bunch more dramatic scenes, but not a more plausible plot. And plus, as I said before, so much like ROTJ. But in these “re-shoots” I honestly suspect they ruined the character of Krennic. Maybe I am just being a bit romantic about “Classic Mendo”. Or maybe not.

So I give the movie a pass. On a good day I’d give it a 7. The test will come if I choose to see it again and again.

Zero Dark Thirty review


On Saturday we headed up to the Barracks cinema and it just happened that everyone else in the universe was there too — seeing as they had put on 4 movies at the very same time.

Being hyper-punctual, of course it wasn’t a big deal and we made it inside with ages to spare — cool story huh?

Anyway. The movie: it was fantastic. Even before those incredible action scenes at the conclusion I was convinced this film was exceptional.

Just like ARGO it had an amazing ability to create tension when you knew exactly what was going to happen next. And the scenes where they tried to surprise you — like the many, many bombs going off — it was like they knew you knew already so just made those vignettes interesting in other ways. In any respect — I think the point of historical films where you know exactly what happened (at least in a wikipedia-sense) is that it is about the characters involved.

And this film had enough great characters to really keep you interested. And Maya, a ginger it should be noted, was pretty fucking amazing and maybe that obscured my judgement. She wasn’t angelic, and probably someone I wouldn’t really want to know. But she was compelling.

There’s been “controversies” about this film. Did it condone torture? My answer — yeah it did, perhaps even BIG TIME. But in doing so it got me thinking for myself whether or not I accepted that. And I’d have to say if it was me in a room with someone who had information of the fate of someone I cared about or even just a random — I’d probably not be consulting the Rules of Engagement. I would let my own moral compass guide me.

But I am not a professional combatant. I am just a soul that will step-up when confronted. In case you hadn’t worked this out about me already — I don’t suffer fools and I certainly wouldn’t be much good as a diplomat. I think I have just experienced enough right and enough wrong in my short life already to have a decent grasp on that subject matter.

And seeing as I have to perpetually mete out justice when I am riding because I am so, so often confronted with someone thoughtlessly endangering my life. Just last week a fat bastard in a 4WD was so affronted by the fact I called him a shit driver for almost causing an accident (or worse) when he dangerously overtook me on a very narrow road which resulted in him gaining absolutely no advantage — seeing as I had the opportunity to catch up with him less than 30 seconds later. After I said my piece I turned towards the river bikepath and then, when the lights changed, he changed from turning right, to turn left to chase me. He spun his wheels making the best screeching sound possible just to see me disappear down the underpass.

He was then stuck at an intersection that led him down Coronation Drive towards the city — the complete opposite direction he was intending to travel, and not a road that it is easy to turn around upon. If you are reading this — all I can say is Suck shit you fat fuck.

Some bike riders think you should treat aggressive drivers with a smile and a wave, because essentially a combatant, wants a combatant to engage with and that will confuse them at worst and perhaps level them in a best case scenario. I think I can find it in my morality to be a bike rider that steps up and makes them think twice about leaning on a horn or doing something dangerous cause they could be held accountable for that at the next intersection when I get a chance to catch up. And believe me — I have been hit by enough cars not to be afraid of some deadshit thinking they can get their petty problems off their chest within the safety of their big fat metal cage and be entirely unaccountable for that nonsense.

But me, I think people should be accountable. And I will put my own hand up first. This blog is somewhat testament to that.

Go see this movie, if just for 2 and a half hours that will sweep by without any personal awareness.

And then read the wikipedia page about the death of Bin Laden. It is almost as surreal as the movie.

Lincoln, chook drama, and the weekend in photos

The weekend started with a trip to Scott and Ali’s place for dinner. Their place is amazing and I love the wood-panelling. I have seen this panelling in a couple of other Queenslanders, but no where near as amazing as their place in Highgate Hill. It must have been quite a fashion in the 30s. And the amount of glass indoors — and not just the frosted variety – but feature glass with all it’s colours and shapes.

I also really dig the little shelf that circles the room – about a head above head-height. I imagine it was initially designed to be decorative — not functional, and thus historically empty. But in modern times, in my experience, it has always become something to embrace. What can we display up there?



Scott has his “DFL” trophy up there — and because Scott can be quite unlucky in alleycats — if he was awarded one each time he raced, there just might not be room for them up there.



Scott salvaged these from hard-rubbish. They are amazing and there really is more text than nudeness. Below is a very creepy advert.




So before all that I came home from work with the intention of feeding the animals and then heading back to town. The cat was lazing around the front yard, so when she was fed I then tried to find the chooks. But for the first time ever they weren’t immediately obvious. I tried not to think of the worst, but then I noticed a washing basket was peculiarly upturned.

Getting closer I saw that the two birds were trapped underneath. What? I set them free and underneath was a big circle of their poo. They must have been under there for hours. I then decided what must have happened. One of them had tried to roost on the edge of the plastic basket’s rim and then the other had jumped up too — but then the basket had toppled over, and down the concrete step — but so perfectly as to trap them both underneath. It was hilarious, yet tragic (for them) at the same time. Poor chooks, but LOLOLOLZ.

Below is me trying to recreate the scene without actually imprisoning them again — that would be cruel.



So Dayne, Ryan, Scott and me did a Coot-Tha and a riverloop that involved a diversion to Tarragindi that I will explain later.






“Which way?”




Last night Dee and I went up to the Barracks to see the new Lincoln movie. We forgot there was a big footy match on at Suncorp until we had just left. After some debate while halfway there, we decided to brave the crowds and we arrived at the cinema and we gradually noticed the other clientele seemed to be predominately geriatrics.


About 90 minutes into the movie I noticed someone stumbling down the aisle towards the exit about 4 metres from us. And it wasn’t just me that noticed her because when she suddenly collapsed into the back of someone there was the biggest vocalisation this theatre had experienced so far in the movie. It was a massive gasp and various people got up to help and the plot of the movie was lost to me for about 5 minutes while she languished there. There were too many people hovering over her already so I stayed seated and assumed there was nothing else I could do.

Eventually she was well enough to walk out and it seems she just fainted. And all through the remaining portion of the movie I couldn’t help juxtapose that experience.


Dee’s wine glass halfway between “Epic” and “Feature Length”.

I thought the movie was OK. It had a lot of dialogue and a lot of “process”. It definitely wasn’t an action movie, even though that is something you thought might get covered. It had the feel of “Seven“. The action was omnipresent, and the results so acute, but happened elsewhere, off-screen, and consequently you just had to imagine it boiling away in the background.

And it seemed everything you could think of that is “iconic” about Abraham — the Gettysburg Address, his assassination etc was treated in a purposefully different or unexpected way — sometimes surprising, and sometimes cheesy. Daniel Day Lewis was thoroughly believable and it wasn’t just cause they had occasionally CGI’d his frame to make him so tall and spidery. Dee and I saw a cast of Lincoln’s hand in Washington a few years back. It was massive. It’s thought Lincoln had something like Marfan Syndrome.

IMG_2190 IMG_2192

Dee’s hand next to the cast of Abe’s.

James Spader was another highlight. Inspired.


Tommy Lee Jones felt gratuitous. He’s noble and weathered, but just too much of an action-charactiture and so obviously modern and anachronistic.


So my secret side trip was to retrieve my DVD’s of Ken Burns’ Civil War documentary from a friend — I knew I needed to see it all again. And Dee and I watched the first episode and I was in tears by the end. And the story is history but it is so much stranger than fiction, and more grand and important.

The frist episode ends with the letter Sullivan Ballou wrote to his wife Sarah on the eve of him going off to war. And this was when the war was in it’s very, very infancy. Read his words if you dare.


My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days—perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more…

Sarah my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battle field.

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them for so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood, around us…

Never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! 

…But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights . . . always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath… it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.

He died a week later at the battle of Bull Run on July 21, 1861.

On the eve of watching the prequel of ALIEN…

UPDATED (see below)

So I have just booked tickets online to see PROMETHEUS tomorrow night.

And it seems relevant to just give you all some insight as to how I got here. Although I have loved each and every ALIEN movie, we actually got off to a rocky start. The first time I watched “Alien” — the amazing beginning of this (now 5 movie) franchise — it happened to be the very first movie we rented at a video store to watch on our brand new “video playing machine”.

My dad had just brought home this glorious silver contraption. But ’cause we were stupidly poor, it was only rented— somewhat ironically — just so we could rent a whole bunch of other stuff to magically play on it.

Video recorders in those days cost quite a fortune — maybe at least a month’s pay to an average worker — so even though we just had this bad-boy on stolen time — this night was a BIG FUCKING DEAL.

To celebrate we had invited some friends of the family over – those stinky lepers without VCRs who could now gush and be so privileged to bask in our new glory.

And so we all suddenly found ourselves in a video store for the very first time.

While my dad was sorting out the membership I remember it being quite overwhelming. As I scanned the shelves up and down, over and over, I saw there were so many films I had never heard of and I remember wandering around thinking this might just be an Aladdin’s Cave.

See I decided then that maybe I could just pick anyone of these films and be somehow secure in the understanding that a movie, on video-tape, sandwiched in that beautiful plastic packaging, could not help itself but be good. It might not be GREAT, but it would be at the very least – worthwhile.

This was the thinking of my tiny, naive, 10-year-old brain which decided that a film that would have cost a gazillion dollars to make, and it would have been on the radar of so many smart minds (being paid a LOT of money) over there in that place called “America” — which was just like a massive MOVIE SET — and all movies were backed by the miracles of modern technology in film that made the lasers in Star Wars so real.

So when James, a member of our party who was about a year older than me and to whom I just naturally revered, despite the fact he was sans-VCR, started insisting we get this “horror” movie called Alien, well, I baulked. “Wha?” I said. Repeatedly. Horror was a genre of movies I felt the least possible affection for. I was already a delicate, delicate soul that could be struck down by tetanus at the drop of a hat — and probably had 50 types of cancer already that were just waiting to be exposed.

And plus I really did think seeing horror movies stripped your brain of any sense of reason and would ultimately turn me into a serial killer. A rather hopeless one at that.


James was desperately like, “The Alien just explodes out of this guy’s chest. Blood and guts everywhere. You HAVE to SEE this. It is going to be so cool!”

In those days there was no such term as “spoiler alert”. No one really cared or understood that he had perhaps compromised a big part of the film. In those days “plot twists” that radically re-defined a film, were pretty rare.

But the excitement of the evening and the consensus and the prospect of seeing the special effects wizardry that would render something exploding out of a man’s chest decided that this was what we saw.

And woah. I expected to HATE it. But instead I was transfixed.


I actually gave appropriate kudos to James after.

So fast-forward to modernity when I could truly appreciate this film. And it was actually the sequel — ALIENS — that changed everything. Undoubtedly it is in my top ten films of all time, and might even be up there towards the top.

It was so scary, so suspenseful — yet without much gore (until the end) or many visual cues of the alien. It was all such dramatic chaos and crucially – just like the first movie – with big gaps in the story you just had to fill in with your mind, always thinking the worst. It was a total mind-fuck.

I remember I was so obsessed with ALIENS I decided I to read the novelisation of the first film by Alan Dean Foster.


And looking at the special edition I think all that extra detail was cool to see, but just defeated the initial vibe of the initial cut which was just so mysterious. Every single character had no idea what was going on, just like the movie audience. The fog of war.

And so I own the special edition pack of all 4 films and the commentary is fucking amazing to listen to. Even James Cameron’s who comes across — as you might expect — as an absolute ego-maniac…but, admittedly, he does have some skills in movie making.

And in the commentary of the original ALIEN (not sure when it was recorded) Sigourney Weaver and Ridley Scott start talking about how much they would love to make a prequel and work out how that ship and the space-jockey “other” alien came to be there with a big hole in his chest. (And a lower hold full of face-hugger-eggs).


Well, it was entertaining, and absorbing…but ultimately I couldn’t help thinking you could drive a Nostromo through each and every one of the plot holes. It got quite annoying afterwards as I started wondering, “What was that all about?” and “What was that person thinking when they did that?” The religiosity of the film was at best creepy and at worst down right delusional.

I am not one of these people who watches a movie like it’s a documentary – but I do think you need the fundamentals of your plot to make sense. And I guess a movie as self-important as this — needs to pay more attention to details. Not insignificant details. Hmm.

Midnight in Paris


Today, Good Friday, was one of those days when I needed to see a movie.

Is that a normal impulse? I don’t know. I just NEEDED to see an encapsulated story in the time available to me. A story: one of those beginning, middle and end affairs. The kind of ART that takes only about 80-100 minutes to be expressed.

There was absolutely nothing on at the theatres worth seeing so I spent a good 15 minutes trawling though the APPLE TV movie list. And I was just about to watch The Good, The Bad and The Ugly when I settled on “Midnight in Paris”.

I love Woody Allen as much as the next guy/gal – which basically means I love Woody when he is good and then am absolutely appalled at Woody making me spend money and time on some tripe his “genius” thinks is worthy of releasing. (I won’t bother listing these films cause I know you know the movies I am talking about.)

But Midnight in Paris is good. Great even.

I really had no idea about the plot so when it took a refreshing and quite “realistic” tangent about 20 minutes in and I was suddenly hooked. I say “realistic” knowing that the tangent was entirely fantastic and surreal, but it felt natural and smooth – like a song’s break down.

The Hemingway character inspired me to reconsider the real man. I always thought (from knowing very little about him) that he was a grumpy, pathological brute – but I think my views have softened somewhat. Interesting fellow and the scenes where he talks about the fear of death and how loving something kills that fear got my brain all “thinky” and I lost track of what was going on the screen and had to rewind. TRUE STORY.


The inclusion of Carla Bruni was inspired. Like her character seems contrived and “added in at the last minute”. But wow. It was great to see her. I know this is tragic of me to admit, but I knew her name and face when I saw her enter and it screamed, “cameo” but for some reason I forgot who she was and just thought of her as a modern French A-list actress doing Woody a favour. Then when her second scenes came up I was like – HOLY MOLY FUCKIN SHIT. How could I have forgotten that?


I guess the film has some deeper lessons about ones grand dreams, ones choices and how fraught with danger and complexity being a “romantic” is. I count myself as a hopeless romantic and constantly caught up in my dreams. I want to build my own house. I want to live overseas on a farm, I want to grow all my own food, I want to start a life-coaching business, I want to ride my bike to Perth. ETC.

But then I think about how I would miss the next episode of Mediawatch and I settle.