Killarney Overnightah (pt 1)

Although this ride was fucking awesome and epic and beautiful and a bunch of other superlatives — ultimately it ended up being a much tougher ride than anyone expected. Like much, much tougher. Both days. There were moments when I thought this was a bridge too far. I couldn’t help but compare it to the Boonah Ovanightah from April which was another gravel adventure in a similar direction and over pretty much the same distance. But this ride was twice as tough as that. More hills. Much, much more gravel and a real remoteness. For instance if disaster struck in the 35k section around White Swamp there would be real, real trouble. Plus there was the absence of any opportunity to replenish water, which led to (in my opinion) desperate measures. More on that later.

80% gravel and hills and hills and more hills

I don’t think it is much of an exaggeration to say Day 1 was about 80% gravel. I kinda fucked up here. I really didn’t do enough research to work that out. I just saw road on the map and assumed it would be a bit of gravel, then a bit of bitumen. Stuff would even out. I did a bit of google street view exploration and of course that stuff just cannot accurately detail what the practical conditions are. It’s all lies. The severity of any steepness is entirely under-represented and any gravel looks smooth and inviting.

BEFORE THE START

So I was being a conscientious Di2 rider and put my bike’s battery on charge on Thursday night. Friday morning I attempted to plug that battery back in but the lever that secured it suddenly snapped. Disaster. I rode it over to Scott at Velo in the Valley single-speed-style for rescue but the whole system was fucked. I would need a new bike. I thought this adventure was all over for me. Luckily Scott had his Specialized Crux. But it had no wheels. Then Jesse, god bless him, donated his wheels to complete the ensemble and I was back in business. But in my heart of hearts I was super glad to ride a cross-bike — a bike much more suited to these conditions. It would be far more comfortable and ideal for the hardest part: the 20ks and 14 river crossings at the end. But I was wrong.

WAKE UP SCOTTY! (part 1)

So I was picking Scott up in a car and ferrying him to the meet point at a place called Mt Alford, just south of Boonah. I rock up only about 10 minutes early and there is zero sound emanating from his flat. I can see into the living areas (which are empty) so I knock on the window I assume belongs to the bedroom. Something stirs. Suddenly the front door opens and here is Scott in some flesh-coloured jocks and my reflexes kicked in. It takes me a micro-second to spin away (hoping they were in fact flesh-coloured jocks and not a completely-naked-just-woken-man) and I start dragging the bikes to the car. Thankfully they were on the deck and I could get busy without actually entering the flat with this possible naked person lumbering about attempting to get ready.

Only about 5 minutes later and Scott appears at the car fully dressed and carrying his panniers looking almost completely composed. Well done. Soon we are heading south and although Scott has not had a chance at his morning poo, I assure him there is a public toilet at the ride start that will suit this necessity.

At Boonah we get pastries and pull into the Mt Alford Hotel’s carpark only just a bit late. Us parking here didn’t seem like an issue, but we got some grief for it later as you shall see. Duggie (AKA Cameron) and Wookie (AKA Brad) were setting up. A minute or two later Dan arrived — making our full crew of 5 complete.

Of note, Duggie and me (et al) had done a trip to Killarney back in 2014. That was a super-tough ride too, but a road-bike and bitumen thing. That standard route to Killarney.

MORE ON “THE ROUTE”

Duggie and I had collaborated on this ride — both of us being such fans of the country out here and that first adventure. We were both super-enthused. And Duggie wanted to put in the Condamine River Road, while I was all about adding this White Swamp arc. Then Duggie included an extension at the start — just to make the final tally of kilometres respectable at about 82. This excursion out to Moogerah Dam was super-beautiful but pretty bumpy. 20ks later at its end I could feel that it had taken a big chunk out of my overall awesomeness. In other words, my legs were starting to whinge a bit.

So the route when viewed from above looked like a figure 8 with an extra circle attached. On the map Duggie layed-out — and stuck to the pannier on the front of his bike — it looked beautiful. There wasn’t much overlap between Day 1 and Day 2. Maybe only 4ks.

START

So it took us about 20 mins to get all our shit together and just about 100ms after we started rolling I remembered my wallet was still in the car. Bullet-dodged we were properly off. Then I said to Scott, “Oh yeah, how do you change gears on this thing?” (I wasn’t used to a SRAM gear-setup.) It turned out to be pretty cool. You only had to use your right hand and it was a half-click to go down to a tougher gear and a full-click to hit the granny-gears. Loved it. But in saying that, my hills-gear only went to 40-28, which meant a lot of grinding while everyone else got to spin almost twice as much. But beggars can’t choosey.

Around the dam we hit an amazing road that skirted the Main Range peaks south of Cunningham’s Gap. It was so “Australia”. There was even a flock of gallahs and occasionally we saw kangaroos leaping out of sight.

30ks in and we passed the “Head Road”: the route up from that 2014 ride. Duggie shuddered when he contemplated what we did that day. “That climb gives me shivers,” he said. And so we committed ourselves to a new way up. It turned to gravel almost immediately and it was pleasant for about 5ks and then it started getting shitty. By now the sun was getting near it’s peak and my jersey was saturated. Despite it being deep into May, the humidity was nuts and I knew exactly then that water, or lack thereof, was going to be an issue. We stopped for a break just as the first 12% hill loomed. We could literally see it snake it’s way up. In my head I was like, “Yeah, once that’s over that’s the worst of it.” I definitely even said that. So up we went and at the point where it looked too epic to waste blowing up my legs I got off the bike and walked. And Wookie instantly reciprocated. He was so appreciative. Wookie had been off the bike for 5 weeks due to life-stuff and needed to take it gentle. I have a philosophy of no-shame-walking. When it’s so steep there’s no need destroying your legs when you can get up that bullshit by walking. And especially when you get to the top only about 30% later than riding up.

Wookie!

Me! taken by Duggie.

That pinch done we rolled on expecting things to get civil, but then bang! Another sign saying “12%”. Ugh. Once again me and wookie did a bit of walking. I kept telling everyone, “I think this is the worst of it over”. But sure enough I was proven utterly wrong and everyone started cursing any optimism I tried to put down. Quite rightly it should be said. The third time the sign came about (this time 13%) Duggie and Dan started walking. By the 4th, another one of those evil 13% fuckstains, Scott had succumbed too and we five were all trudging up the road on foot.

Eventually at the top was the NSW border and we rested for a bit and then thankfully we did get some relief — in the sense that is was more down than up for 10ks. But there were a few shitty little hills randomly biting us whenever they felt like it. The terrain was just so random it just didn’t make sense. There were super-crazy descents but then another pinch straight away. We’d get a sudden burst of bitumen on a downhill only to find that at the very bottom, where you were travelling so fucking fast, was a point where it changed to gravel.

Another random section was a super-incredible descent (on bitumen) which Wookie nailed — he is one of those fearless downhill riders and has a bunch of KOMs or near KOMs to prove it. At the bottom in a dip was a dodgy culvert and Scott got a flat. But it was a beautiful place to change a tube under this big ancient gum tree with Mt Wilson looming over us.

A bit later, at White Swamp proper, we were turning right and it was up and up again. There was more walking and it was now super-warm. Touching on 28 degrees and super-humidity. Meanwhile Scott decided he had to roll. He explained that with the panniers at the back of his bike it was just fucked to walk his rig. Every step and your calf would bang into the rear bag. So as he struggled ahead we 4 just sauntered up. Everyone was really, really feeling the intensity of this adventure.

At the dilapidated border crossing where we went back into Queensland again we could see our next target: the Condamine River Road. But then everyone was like, “I’ve got no water left.” I had about 600mls (some of which was still frozen) sitting in my backpack. Everyone was too polite to drink more than a mouthful and thus was determined to drink the water from the creek. I was mortified. “Dudes, there’s houses down there. I will knock on a door and see if we can get some.” Implying there was no need to drink untreated river-water from country surrounded by cattle. But no one listened. It seemed like a challenge. Something primal. Meanwhile I just thought of how Bart dared Lisa to drink the water in that episode of the Simpsons. EEK.

WET RIVER

We slid down and turned left onto a brief section of bitumen (the same bitumen as from 2014) and then right onto white gravel. According to my Garmin we had 21ks to go. But seeing as the last 60ks had taken well over 4 hours I was starting to wonder if I would start suffering soon. Like “Suffering” in the EVIL sense. There was no question that I was suffering in a GENERAL sense, I just feared that situation escalating. And confronting us now was all dirt and 14 points where the road crossed the river. After a particularly brutal pinch Wookie looked in trouble. We stopped and assessed the situation. He ate some more food and drank some of my water, but he was struggling. I really wondered how brutal this next section would be.

Photo by Dan!

As it turned out, this period was incredible: beautiful and awesome and all our spirits were lifted. I would almost rate this section as a “breeze”. But just quietly.

See we got to stop and get our feet wet. Like saturated. Some of us (not me) tried to smash through and ford the crossings. It should be said the other four got quite good at it towards the end. Me: I managed to only cross the river once in a very easy section. (I made a promise to Jesse that I would walk the bike over all the river — so as not to potentially damage the wheels).

But back to the third crossing, where the river suddenly didn’t look as muddy from all the 4WD activity. Here is where the crew started filling up their water-bottles and drinking the water. Gulping it down. They said it tasted amazing and was clear and cool. I was horrified, but I was in no position to argue. We were desperate and everyone was sick of my optimism.

Onwards and it was actually really fun every time a crossing came up. It was like a computer game working out where to cross and there were 4WDs around either being dickheads or gawking at us. At one point we passed an honesty-system stall where you could pay $5 to get to feed some horses. As awesome as that looked, we really had to roll on. Everyone agreed this section had really made the ride exponentially special.

Wookie!

In most crossings you had no idea what the bottom looked like cause the water was so muddy.

I think Dan was the first to successfully get across without stepping down. Kudos.

Pic by Duggie!

And then we were back on sealed roads and in Killarney central and at the Foodworks buying all the hot baked-savories they hadn’t sold yet before they were due to be thrown out.

OMG. NEXT TIME (in PART TWO):

1) Too much baked-savories
2) Room booking fail and your bikes are not welcome here
3) Locals only!
4) Friends are made
5) “You outta towners stealing our sheilas!”
6) A definitive list of things you can literally get away with at a country pub (some of which are awesome and some of which are not that.)
7) Drama with barman
8) More “Friends!”
9) 2:30am and some of us are still awake
10) Wookie takes a stand

BONUS PICS

Ride to O’Reilly’s (Mk2)

This gallery contains 15 photos.

Fred Ride

When Dayne found out we were starting out at 8:30, he said, “That’s Fred time!”

Of course he was right and he when we passed a truck called “Fred’s” it was like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You may have noticed all the photography in today’s post is in black and white (and cropped slightly more cinematically) because we are such Freds but also as a nod to the fact Dayne and Tom were rocking the Rapha hard.

On the way at Wacol we passed some kinda vehicle inspection blockade. They weren’t interested in us. Sigh. 

Welcome to Ipswich — burnouts on the side of the road!

Just after Springfield Lakes Dayne suddenly disappeared. And Tom and I just waited and waited while Jesse went back to see what was happening. And it transpired that Dayne had got some claw-like bit of rubbish stuck in his tyre and when he pulled it out the tyre deflated. “Too much ‘passion'” was part of the problem Dayne said. “Too much passion.”

Timer shot while we waited and below Dayne and Jesse return — Freds united!

Then I got busy once more snapping as many ultra-epic Rapha Fred-o-grams as I could.

Then Dayne had a another Fred-attack and had to stop to check something on his bike. Meanwhile I made Tom and Jesse head up this dirt side-road so I could get another epic-shot.

It was totally worth it!

Eventually we made it to Ipswich at around the 60k mark and stopped at some place that made this claim:

But at the counter I baulked at the thought of a greasy Ipswich burger so I ordered an egg and lettuce sandwich — just like the Fred I am. But Tom dived right in — ordering the rather exotic “pineapple burger”. Then Dayne and Jesse bought their own and I was stuck with my soggy and rather pathetic-looking sandwich. But then Jesse ordered $6 worth of chips and when all our food came out it was a feast. $6 of chips in the ‘Switch is pretty damn impressive. They almost took up the entire table — tasted amazing too! Even though we ate quite heartily — we hardly made a dent in them.

A break at Jindalee

BONUS PIC:

To the east

CRAMPS

No one really knows much about cramping. One of the reasons for this is that research into the topic is rare because cramps are notoriously random and apparently there are many different types of cramps and also it will take a brave cyclist to allow a researcher to stick some medical probe into a muscle that’s experiencing one.

All I can say is that I generally know what causes them in me. It’s usually a very hot day, I’ve been riding over around 100ks and I also suspect one can be triggered by moving a muscle in a slightly different manner to the default motions of cycling. It’s like your body gets so used to that zone it gets upset if you alter it.

That last point becomes more acute post-ride when I try to bend over to take my shoes off or I am lying in bed trying to sleep and a foot — so used to having to push against something (and slightly bent towards my shin when riding) — starts cramping cause it’s free and can now “relax”.

Anyway — more on all that later.

THE RIDE

We had 6 of us today which is pretty much a proper crew. At the meet-up point at Planet Cycles there was me, then Dayne, then Jesse arrived. Then Scott, Tom and finally Shirts.

The day started on a downer — I quickly discovered trying to take a snap of the sunrise that it seems not only my Garmin, but also my camera was a casualty of that wet ride last Saturday. The back display screen wasn’t functioning — which bizarrely echoed what had happened to my Garmin. So my photos will be a bit more shit than usual cause I couldn’t see the shot I was composing and I couldn’t even be sure the shot was taken. Ugh.

Dee will be grateful Scott has shaved the mo and is working on a new beard.

Scott was rocking his fixed wheel with TT bars — the rest of us were on gears, though of course Shirts was also avec TT bars.

Originally the plan was to head towards West Mt Cotton Road and then hit Serpentine Road in Redland Bay and then swing home via Cleveland. But while we were mashing the plans got altered. First we hit Mt Petrie Road which gave Scotty a bit of a workout. So I said, “We’ll cut out West Mt Cotton Road” — which is pretty brutally steep and not very much fun if you just have one gear.

“Don’t alter the plans for me!” he said.

But before all that Tom randomly said, “Take this right”. And we all obeyed and it was firstly down Rochedale Road and then into Ford Road through Sheldon. I’ve never been on these roads but it was amazing. Really pretty, quiet and packed with stuff to gawk at like transmission dishes, weird houses, horses and a place that had it’s very own half-sized rugby league field.

I caught Scott instagraming on-the-bike. So I had to get into his photo:

Another shot by Scott.

It was fun to watch Scott climbing with his two water-bottles in the back of his jersey bobbing around. Tom thought it was “mesmerising”.

Then the troop headed towards the West Mt Cotton summit. It was doubly complicated for Scott. Because he was brakeless, he had to somehow slow down during the initial 20% drop which has a potentially nasty corner at the bottom, and then he had to dig himself out of that gully. Ow. We all went first but Dayne stuck with Scott just for the LOLz and to document his suffering. Dayne is such a good mate!

This is Dayne’s pic — which I think is fucking amazing!

 

And I think I captured the very moment Dayne took this shot:

Dayne’s selfie to celebrate!

“That wasn’t much fun,” Scott said at the top.

So we made our way down and then on Beenleigh-Redland Bay Road Shirts led us and time-trialled all the way along. It was absolute mashing and things went by so fast I had to take Dayne’s word for the fact we narrowly avoided two squashed turtles in our line. We consistently held the speed above 45 and Scott had to pull out cause he just couldn’t consistently spin that fast. I needed an excuse to rest so I dropped off the back too — ostensibly to keep Scott company.

We were now about 65 kms into the ride and I still hadn’t refilled my water bottles. And there were no places to fill up so I had to steal some of Shirts’ water. Eventually we got to stop at civilisation — a servo somewhere near Victoria Point. Dayne demonstrated how spraying yourself — when you are all sweaty — with compressed air was amazing. He was right. Even in your shoes apparently!

So thankfully we made it to Cleveland and had a chance to eat and rest. I was so desperate for food I dived into the cafe and ordered the first thing on the menu. Our table was so crowded Jesse managed to tip his whole meal all into his lap. We laughed so hard I got the first of my many cramps for the day — in my chest.

Scott took this sneaky pic!

On our way again and naturally Shirts became — THE SHIRTS. Everyone was getting quiet. There was just suffering and I was in too much pain to take many photos.

For some reason we took this scenic route and around Wynnum I was just over it and feeling tweaks and twinges of an epic cramp about to wave over me. I was also starving again and so sick of drinking water that felt like it had just been boiled. It was around 115km from home for me at this point and I don’t think there is much point riding when it sucks and you’re gonna pay for it for days later.

So I bailed and Dayne decided that was a good idea too. And below is what remained of the crew saying goodbye and heading home.

On the train there was an empty VB can and I couldn’t resist posing for a photo which Dayne took.

HOME

So I got off at Park Road and slowly hit those last 10ks. My legs were a mess and cramping and I was so, so hungry. I made it to the fish n chip shop at the Baroona Road shops and ordered my lunch — I was craving salt and more salt. Then as I was riding down Baroona with that meal swinging from a plastic bag from my bars — I heard this, “DAVE!” And turning around it was Jesse. RANDOM!

After devouring my lunch I had a massive dual-leg cramp in the living room which locked my legs straight — like they were suddenly in full length casts. I could feel myself getting dizzy and sick with pain. Luckily it faded. See I need to keep my legs moving post-ride when I am susceptible to cramps. I have learnt that if you jiggle them around — kinda simulating the motions of the bike — that seems to help. If you get sedentary — that’s when they arc up.

BONUS PICS

By Scott

By Scott!

Mt Mee via Ocean Road

Today we met up at 5am — the earliest we have for quite some time just cause BOM was predicting a 34 degree day. It turned out to get over 35 so that was an inspired decision.

We were heading for Mt Mee and we were gonna do it a different way, via a side road that claimed to be 18%. Although that road — Ocean Road — was pretty fucking brutal, we were pretty certain it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as 18%.

Anyway — it still got pretty fucking hot by the end and Ryan was just getting back into riding and he was getting intimate with the biggest depths of the pain cave by the end.

 

Gear jersey trackstand triplets!

On the way down Mee I felt this slapping on my back and I stopped and realised my headphones had come away from my helmet strap and had got caught in my rear wheel and consequently the earphones were shorn clear. Shiiit.

Itsa me — Mario!

First decent ride of the year

This was Dan’s ride — that’s him on the right. And it was Tom’s first ride on his new build — a frame he had just bought from Scott. And also riding with us was Dayne:

It was 27 degrees at 5:30am and BOM was saying the “apparent temperature” was already in the 30s. UGH!

So here are some shots of the ride which was just a shortish smash out to Wynnum via Lytton and then through Manly and Lota and then back home via Wynnum Road.

Then we stopped at Pawpaw Cafe in Wooloongabba — which I thought was pretty damn good.

Then Dayne an me did a sneaky half loop just cause we had some time and the legs didn’t feel too bad. By the end though I felt a bit yukky and it was good to be home.

 

 

Bumpy Lake Manchester Ride

Waking up to the news of another epic gun tragedy in a country where just this week a few States were ‘umming and arring’ about banning guns from workplaces just makes you so angry. So angry you just have to punish some hills to calm the blood.

I almost cancelled today’s ride cause mum is visiting and today was gonna be busy but then got a rush of blood to the head last night cause Shirts was like, “Just do a shorter ride – DER!” and then he doesn’t even show up! He is certainly a man of mystery.

But luckily Tom and Benny made it and we set off to Lake Manchester — north of Ipswich — on Tom’s suggestion.

And it was a bumpy ride all the way. Lot’s of shitty little hills, many that were fucking steep.

Plus Tom seems to be a magnet for dirt roads which mean you have to really, really concentrate of the road, trying to avoid the big rocks and finding the safest lines but trying to keep the bike straight.

The View from Mt Bill Cosby

Tom: “There should be more dirt roads in Queensland!”

At the end of the Lake Manchester Road — which incidentally had a very, very sweet and straight downhill where I broke 80km/hr — was this old building and a mango tree, but no lake. It seemed you had to go down this rutted and narrow and steep dirt road so we collectively said, fuck it, and turned around.

Then we turned right into Kholo Road which we hoped led to Ipswich. This road went on forever and had many bullshit pinches and never seemed to be heading towards civilization. I started wondering if we were lost.

But then we arrived at the Warego Hwy and all was well. After a pastry at some bakery we skipped through the ‘Switch and at Riverview we jumped on this brand new bit of bikepath. It was nice and smooth, but it kept crossing roads and at one point becoming a footpath. It was just too fiddly. I think we’ll stick to our usual route next time.

Benny got a flat outside the Correctional Facility, but we needed a rest anyway.

Just Tom wandering around kids play equipment.

Then Benny shot off to do a Mt Coot-tha on his way home — he is a machine that boy — and me I road with Tom a bit just so I could get over 100kms. When I got home I was the kind of hungry where if you just tap your stomach all your insides hurt.

BUMPY!

The Hills (of Brisbane)

Somehow I got this idea of visiting all the suburbs in Brisbane with “Hill” or “Mountain” in their title. And then I worked out a route with the least amount of backtracking (see below) and texted all my mates begging them to come and suddenly it was today and it we were actually doing it.

“How good is this?” I kept saying. Each and every time it was met with a deathly silence which I took to mean everyone was intently pondering this historic occasion.

But I was hopelessly excited and it just gushed out. Anyway — the tally for the day was:

Highgate Hill, Weller’s Hill, Mt Gravatt, White’s Hill, Camp Hill, Seven Hills, Cannon Hill, Bowen Hills, Spring Hill, Red Hill, Everton Hills, Arana Hills, Ferny Hills, A point on Mt Nebo Road that is the highest point in the city of Brisbane, Kenmore Hills, Chapel Hill, and finally Mt Coot-tha.

For me 116kms and over 2000ms of climbing. Here’s the pics:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOM!

Mt Gravatt

White’s Hill

Scotty was feeling a bit poorly today. And so I made sure to remind him at every opportunity, “HOW GOOD IS THIS?” He just gumbled.

Spring Hill/Bowen Hills

Red Hill

Gooby self-portrait. I stood on my sunglasses the other day and they got a bit bent. Ugh.

Scott, Tom and Shirts were all so excited they had to have a break while Ben and me went further up the road to this point – the highest bit of road in Brisbane. HOW GOOD IS THAT? 

Then we went over Gap Creek Road and I could feel my legs getting a bit leaden and I got this vibe that the spirits of the group were not quite overflowing with excitement as they had been previously. In fact I think someone looked at me like they were going to throttle me the next time I said, “HOW GOOD IS THIS?” So it was decided that we would omit Mt Crosby and Mt Ommaney. But I think the guys saw me looking a bit teary so agreed, begrudgingly to indulge me and finish on Mt Coot-tha. YAY!

There was some charity ride on the mountain today. Apparently this group was doing laps in some 24 hour thing.

Redlands/storm ride

Today’s ride accidentally got a bit dramatic when we were smashed by this massive storm just as we got back to Brisbane. But more on that later.

So I met the crew at Planet Cycles this morning at 6am and we had accidentally chosen the exact time the shop ride was leaving. There were consequently dozens of riders looking very pro. Bike riders are funny.

On the way to the top of West Mt Cotton road as you briefly dip down the 20% section we passed this poor dude in a polka dot jersey walking his bike up the hill. Lol.

At the top we had a rest. The humidity was evil and I had to wring out the sweat from my gloves — never had to do that before.

Next Tom took us on a cyclocross adventure on German Church Road.

After breakfast in Cleveland we headed back via Wynnum Road and Belmont Road eventually ending up at Crankstar in Camp Hill.

After gushing over the Rapha merch we had some coffee and the owner was like, “Um are you guys riding anymore today?”

And we were like, “Just home.”

And he said, “Cause there’s this huge storm coming. It looks all red on BOM”

So I checked my phone and was like, “Right — let’s get going!”

This is what the storm looked like at that point

Tom peeled off towards his home and Benny, Scott and me plowed on. The lightning in distance got more and more prevalent and the sky turned black. I really thought we’d make it but by the time we got to Milton the rain had started and the thunder and lightning seemed almost directly overhead.

Across Milton Road it just got instantly insane. I headed west and straight into the gale while Benny and Scott headed towards Paddington. I smashed as hard as I could to get home in these cyclonic conditions and eventually made it quite saturated and leaving puddles all through the house.

Benny, I found out later, had to seek shelter in a church doorway until the storm passed.

But – of course – it was a great ride!

The other news from today it that I got my 10,000ks for the year.

Bunya/Samford/Gap Creek Rd exploration ride

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The first thing I noticed this morning was how golden the sun looked with all this bushfire smoke-haze. This photo doesn’t do it much justice – but you could look directly at it. So it was just Tom and me … Continue reading →